Are you making it or breaking it?

I think making New Year’s resolutions is the most self defeating thing you can do all year. Resolutions can be made on any other of 364 days of the year. I would even go so far as to say that January 1st is the only day you SHOULDN’T make any life changing plans.


My short answer is you are not prepared and you are setting yourself up for failure. Making resolutions are more than making basic decisions, they are lifestyle changers.

Basic decisions usually involve one of the three elements of the mind, body, and soul triad. I am hunger (the body) so I will eat something. I am speeding (the mind) so I will slow down. I am sad (the soul) so I will listen to happy music. You are well equipped to create solutions for small unbalances in the triad, we do this every day. These solutions are instant gratifications for the problems at hand and once solved you move forward.

But what happens when the imbalance encompasses two or three elements of the triad?

You are sad (the soul) over a break up with a loved one, and you over slept. Instead of fixing a bowl of cereal you (the body) drive to the fast food joint to pick up a breakfast sandwich. The line at the drive thru is eight deep but you need your breakfast and coffee. By the time you order and receive your breakfast, you have five minutes to travel a ten minute commute. You think, “If I hit all the green lights I might just make it” but the car in front of you is doing, heaven forbid, the speed limit and stopping at yellow lights! They finally turn off and you speed up to make up time. And you think to yourself, something has to change. I can’t keep living like this. Lucky for you it is December 29th, New Year’s resolution season! It is the perfect time to start anew. All you have to do is a little research and find some quick tips to change your life.

The truth is quick tips won’t work!

Quick tips are great information, that’s not the problem. Those tips can change a situation too. But those tips are being given by ones who have already discovered, practiced and mastered those skills, that why they are quick for them! Doing a little research or no research before making a life change will set you up for failure, don’t do it.

What should you do? Give thanks.

I would have to say that this should be the first step to changing your life. It doesn’t matter if you want to be on time, stop dating the wrong people, lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, or getting organized, starting with being aware of what you have and being grateful for all of it. Be thankful for the good things and the not so good things. Take the example; thank you for the opportunity to love. Thank you for letting me sleep, I must have needed it. Thank you for letting me wake up today. Thank you for the option to buy take-out breakfast. Thank you for eight cars in front of me because I could listen to my favorite song. Thank you for the yellow lights because it has given me time to reflect on needing to change, and so on…..

I came across a book awhile back called, “Thank You Power: Making the Science of Gratitude Work for You” by Deborah Norville. Interesting little book, I highly recommend it. It has stuck with me to the point that every day when I wake up in the morning, before the alarm goes off, I run through my thank you’s. From the big stuff like Marcus and Scarpa to the small stuff like smell of clean laundry and toilet paper. In the still and darkness of the morning I set my day and I am grateful for that.

Why should you give thanks?

It is humbling. It is positive. And it makes your triad come into alignment. And when you are aligned, you will be in a great place to start doing some research and finding the correct and right solutions for your problems.

Action Plan:

Take a piece of paper and a pen and write down ten things you are grateful for and then add to the list every day. Review the list every day and as many times as you feel you need to feel grateful.

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